Bill Murray takes a swim

Trust Letterman to run with a strange idea. Or what may of seemed strange. This summer the mayor of New York City started taking dumpsters and making them into temporary pools for the citizens. Letterman latched onto this story and found a willing victim in Bill Murray.

Tags: Bizzare, Humor, Television

When there is no one else to call, don’t bother with the remake of the “A Team”.  Just call around for an laid off construction worker…

The Fifty-two-year-old California construction worker arrived in the picturesque mountain border province of Chitral, which borders the Taliban stronghold of Nuristan in Afghanistan, on June 3, accompanied by a security guard that is mandatory for foreigners entering the area, Pakistani police said.After hotel security guards noticed he had vanished on Sunday night, a search party was dispatched. After a 10-hour manhunt they found Faulker some 14 kilometers 9 miles from the Afghan border, according to police official Mumtaz Ahmad Khan.

[via Gary Brooks Faulkner: 'American ninja' hunting Osama bin Laden - CSMonitor.com]

So below we see he was dying and this was a suicide mission.  So now we have Christian going off on Suicide missions against Muslims?

American construction worker and wannabe terrorist-slayer Gary Brooks Faulkner may have taken an unorthodox approach in his one-man hunt for Osama Bin Laden. But he was probably looking in the right place.

Faulkner was arrested by the Pakistani police today in Chitral District, a part of the newly-renamed Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa Province (née the North West Frontier Province). “He says that he is a kidney patient. He was also carrying medicines for kidney and blood pressure treatment,” Mumtaz Ahmed, a senior police investigator, said.

That’s not all he was carrying. Ten days after checking into his hotel and receiving a customary police escort (which is typical for westerners traveling in this part of Pakistan), Faulker snuck out, heading towards the border with Afghanistan. When the Pakistani police caught up with him, in the Brumboret Valley, Faulkner was packing “a pistol, a dagger and a sword, carrying night-vision goggles, a night-vision camera and religious literature on Christianity.” When questioned after his arrest, Faulkner replied, “God is with me, and I am confident I will be successful in killing [bin Laden].”

[via Sword-Wielding Osama-Hunter Looking in the Right Place? | Danger Room | Wired.com]

No one may of ever expected the Inquisition.. but I think that a white man, who didn’t know the language and obviously didn’t know how to blend in.. Probably had little or no chance on finding Osama.. let along killing him.

As a side I’m glad to see they have good copying machine there.  Might explain why they feel the need to have no-fly lists after all the terrorists can’t have made fake passports right?

Tags: Ironic, News, ninja

I’m not sure how reading this a few months ago may of affected me.  But I have to say as a father of two, this scared and upset me more then I thought anything could.

(CNN) — When 4-year-old Ethan Stacy was reluctantly sent off to spend the summer with his mother late last month, he was in effect being given a death sentence.

The child never had a chance. He was dead within two weeks of arriving at the apartment in Layton, Utah, where his mother lived with her fiancé.

What could have been done to save him?

“I don’t have a good answer for you,” Layton police Lt. Garret Atkin, one of many law enforcement officers in Davis County, Utah, who are grieving for the boy who lived among them so briefly, told me.

The facts of what happened to Ethan speak for themselves:

He was living with his father, Joe G. Stacy, in Richlands, Virginia. Stacy and his estranged wife, Stephanie, were involved in divorce proceedings. The divorce was being adjudicated in Florida, where they had lived before she moved west.

Joe Stacy, in a divorce court filing last November, warned of his fears.

His estranged wife was “unstable,” he wrote to the court: “The mother has abandoned the child and I’m afraid the mother will come and take him and I’ll never
see
him again.I’ll never see him again.”

But the judge in the divorce case, Maura T. Smith, told The Associated Press that she never read the filing. Judge Smith said that Ethan’s parents had worked out a settlement, including shared custody, and that the finalization of their divorce last month was “cut and dried.”

Part of the decree was that Ethan would live with his dad during the school year, and with his mother during the summer.

The child reportedly did not want to go to Utah with her. “I did not want him to go, and he didn’t want to go at all,” Joe Stacy told the Salt Lake Tribune. “He kept telling me he didn’t want to go.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: Crime, divorce, Legal, News, omg, Scary

A student has been saved from a vicious assault – not by the boys in blue but the men in black.

Ninjas scared off three thugs who had the misfortune to attack the 27-year-old medical student outside their warrior school.

The German exchange student had been targeted by the men while he was riding the late-night train home, The Sydney Morning Herald reported.

They demanded he give them his wallet but when he refused and got off the train, they followed.

They pounced as he made his way through a dark alley in Kingswood west of Sydney.

They grabbed his phone and iPod and kicked him while he lay on the ground.

They failed to notice a ninja, Nathan Smith, standing in the shadows outside the dojo. Mr Smith immediately alerted his sensei, or teacher. His sensei and the rest of the students at Ninja Senshi Ryu rushed out to confront the thugs – all dressed in traditional black ninja garb.

On seeing the ninjas, the men fled, only to be later arrested by police.

“You should have seen their faces when they saw us in ninja gear coming towards them,” the school’s sensei, Kaylan Soto, told the Herald..

Another ninja, Steve Ashley, said: “It was probably the worst place in Sydney where they could have taken him.”

[via Herald Sun]

tldr?

Tags: bizarre, Crime, Humor, News, ninja, wierd

Kevin Costner is know for his environmental stance, and has taken flack for some of the things he’s said.
That said this News Story shows that it seems he may be able to back up his feelings with something that won’t tank faster then Waterworld… (okay bad pun since I actually liked the movie)

Tags: Engineering, Environment, movie star, oil spill, Science

A first visit to Catelli’s is but the first of many reviews to show up on a new blog/site that Lisa Yee & I are co-authoring.  Going off a love of food & wine we decided to show how easy it is to pair wine with different food.

Tags: blog, Food, interestings, Review, website, Wine

…and I feel sexist saying it. I’m not a total motorhead but I chuckled at this quote.

In 1912, the world famous Austrian gynecologist, Dr. Hermann Otto Kloepneckler, M.D., Ph.D. published the following.
“The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. Its only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.”

Tags: cars, engines, funny, History, Humor, Ironic, oil

I know these are old… But I felt like a chuckle and these three where the best.

My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
“No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ”Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And then the fight started….

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…

My wife was standing in front of the mirror one day and said, “I look old, fat and ugly; I feel horrible. I need you to pay me a compliment.”
So I said, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started…

Tags: fight, Humor, joke, marriage, relationship

This I’m sure must be an old joke since it was forwarded on to me. But I hadn’t seen it and there was so many grains of truth I started laughing.

I wonder if he is taking patients?
I love this Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable) And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: drinking, eating, Health, Humor, joke, Medical, medicone

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
5. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
6. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men
   can
   fake a
   whole relationship.But men can fake a whole relationship.
7. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
9. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
12. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
13. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
14. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
15. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
16. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
17. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
18. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
19. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
20. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.   Read the rest of this entry »

Tags: funny, Humor, jokes, One-Liners, pickup lines